What do you mean that’s a stalker song?

I was a child in the 1960s, which is different from being a child of the 1960s. I was too young to be a flower child or protest the war, but I was old enough to listen to the heated debates between the generations which were literally and figuratively over my head. No one asked my opinion on anything important or included me in the conversation, but I couldn’t help absorb the arguments. Although I knew I was affected by the turmoil, I have only recently begun to evaluate the ways in which the 1960s molded me. I have begun to question the merits of the lessons I learned. Not that the lessons were wrong, but that the lessons don’t apply to this brave new world we are in.

As an unapologetic Boomer, I listen to music from the 1960s all the time, and I am not ashamed to admit it. It’s only partly due to the quality of the music. The other part is the emotional baggage dragging along behind the melody. It isn’t just that “She Loves You” is such a great song, it’s because of how I felt when I first heard it. Young and full of hope for the future. I can’t help but stand up and dance whenever I hear it. And shake my head like crazy just as the Fab Four did on The Ed Sullivan Show lo’ these many years ago.

Recently, though, my daughter-in-law Cassie got me thinking about oldies music in a new light.

I was happily singing along with the lyrics to a very popular oldie but goodie when Cassie interrupted.

“In what universe is this behavior okay?” she asked, visibly alarmed.

“What?” I asked. “He’s chasing a pretty little butterfly. What’s wrong with that?”

“But he’s STALKING someone. She’s obviously asleep. He’s outside her window racing away before she can see him. He says it’s okay, he doesn’t mean any harm. Yeah, right—that’s not creepy. My advice? Get a restraining order, sister.”

Stalking? I thought to myself. That’s an overreaction. Stalking is stealthily following a person, then doing away with them in the dark. It’s death and brutality and terror. What’s that got to do with chasing a pretty little butterfly?

But then I thought, “Wait. What? She is asleep, and he is creeping away from her window before she can spot him.”

Not exactly stalking, but he is a Peeping Tom, at the very least.

Pervert.

This interaction galvanized me to look at my music, and many other areas of life, through a new lens, that of older, wiser mature me, not the child in the ’60s version of me. If I didn’t realize that a popular song contained stalker motifs, what else did I miss? (I have lots more to say on the topic of stalker songs, and I am working on a podcast that will expand on these thoughts and more. Stay tuned for the launch date of the podcast series!)

So, I decided to write down my thoughts on the world and life with an eye towards dusting off my deeply ingrained beliefs and holding them up to the modern light to see if they are still valid or if they are outdated. I think of it as Marie Kondoing my life’s education.

Hope you enjoy my travels through time past, present and future!