Trash rules! or How I got my children to take out the garbage without a squawk

Teaching my children about chores was one area of parenting where I received only passing grades. I was never forced to do chores when I was a child. I learned early that my mother did not trust anyone to do a job better than her, and it was easy to start a job, then let her barge in and finish it to her satisfaction. Soon, I was exempt from manual labor.

As a result, I had no reference guide to use to get my children to do chores. I often resorted to letting natural consequences do my work for me.

I never nagged my boys about messy bedrooms. I simply walked past their doors with my eyes closed. If they wanted to live in a pigsty, that was their business. To be honest, I didn’t make my bed every day, either, so maybe they were just following my example. There always seemed to be something more imperative to do. Or something better, like reading a book.

Homework? I simply refused to be drawn into that argument. “I did my homework when I went to school. Don’t look at me to do yours,” I would say. “If you get into trouble with your teacher, that’s your problem. Not mine.”

Lost something? I would respond, “It’s either where it belongs”—meaning I put it away properly—”or where you left it.” Everyone, including Jeff, hated this one.

Arguing about chores could take longer than doing the chore itself, so Jeff and I crafted various ways that worked with the boys’ temperaments instead of constantly fighting with them.

Cutting the grass was one example. We devised a system where any child who mowed the grass received five dollars. There wasn’t a week that went by that a child didn’t need five bucks. We had the shortest grass on the block.

It turns out there was one task that could not be left to natural consequences or the monetary needs of the children.

The trash. Here was one area where I had to put my foot down, and this is how I solved the problem.

I posted these rules on the refrigerator, and everyone was to abide by them. No exceptions. For some reason, this resonated with the boys, and they followed the rules to the letter. (I apologize for the poor condition of this photo, but it is the only record I have of this treasure.)

The boys have all been successfully launched into the outside world. Despite my hands-off approach, or maybe because of it, they learned to do laundry, clean house, and turn their homework in on time. They are sufficiently trained that each one has found a smart, beautiful, talented woman to take on the task of improving them further.

Maybe I should revise my grade upward.

Please read the Bonus Blog Post titled “Beware of Live Trash” available on my blog site.